Losing Tim, Our Youngest Son & My Brother Eric

It has now been a year since we lost our youngest child, Tim. He died suddenly on January 26th from a heart attack. No one knew he was at risk and he was young feeling "immortal" like kid's do.

I still don't have the words to write about it. I created a facebook and myspace page for him since he wasn't really into computers. I have to admit that I do enjoy maintaining his site and creating a country life for him in "FarmVille".

I also discovered that since he passed away when I take pictures now there are these wonderful "Orbs", beautifully colored in rainbows and all different sizes and textures. For now I don't know what to make of them except that I enjoy them, feel a sense of comfort with them and consider myself fortunate that I can express my feelings by putting together video's of them. I hope you enjoy them. In a way he is living on in cyberspace.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gkE6tOFqK4

Then in September I lost my middle brother Eric to Pancreatic Cancer, in 2005 asbestos cancer took our father Bill. So I have known a lot of loss and pain of losing a loved one. We are pretty much conditioned to accept the death of our parents, even from an early age we realize that they will die before us with old age so when a parent passes over it is very sad but expected and accepted. The same isn't true with a child, sibling or even good friends for that matter, I've watched 2 girlfriends die from breast cancer. This is a difficult thing to write about because it stirs a lot of emotions in me so I will just stop this post here. But I will admit that I created a myspace/facebook for both my dad and brother. Is it morbid that I feel a bit connected with them when I do? Is it an accident that I get shocked a lot and weird stuff happens with my computer? I don't know, I won't know until it is my time and I hope that it isn't for a long while.