TALKING TO THE OTHER SIDE....

Spirits All Around Me! CLICK HERE TO SEE THE VIDEO OF MY SPIRIT ORBS AND SOULFUL THINGS!

Here we were in what was to be the happiest time of our life; the “Golden Years” is what our parents called it. We had accomplished so much in the trails of our life together, happily married, children out of the nest, bought our dream property, ready to build our dream home, hubby started his second career loving it, and I was near the university that I always dreamed of. Some Dream!!

Suddenly we had so much in life, it was truly amazing to be there at the top. I had just had a successful surgery to remove a parathyroid tumor that had pretty much robbed me out of years. Physical therapy was really paying off and I was feeling good. Yes “La dolce vita”.

After we first bought the property and were waiting for closing and moving to it we would go on the weekends bringing a picnic. We would sit in our pole barn and look out over the beautiful oak tree canopy and just be amazed that we bought a park! People pay good money to go out of town and park in the woods and enjoy nature and now we owned our own park. We are going to be spending the rest of our life on this property and I love it.

The evening before we signed the papers for the dream house to be built dear hubby and I sat outside looking at the site that had been chosen. We were sitting under the oaks envisioning building our first home together, this was going to be exciting. All of it we designed for the way we live including my handicapped needs and to easily change for when we get older. Tonight we will sleep and dream about our dreams being true and we watched the sun set.

Before I went to bed I let the dogs out it was around 11-11:30. While watching TV a strong gust of wind kicked up that actually shook the RV and I said to Dan “wow, that was unusual must be a storm coming”. At this same moment both of the dogs started barking furiously, in such a way that we thought someone was out there so going to check I saw the light was on in the pole barn shed. That wasn’t the direction the dogs were barking in, they were facing east, the same way the wind blew in from. This unnerved me a bit so I walked over there cautiously and seeing nothing there I switched off the light, closed the door and went back in to bed.
I awoke to my husband’s words, “there’s somebody here”, so shocked into waking up I looked up and out the window into the bright white light. OMG, what is going on…..I closed my eyes to the blinding light and heard a knock on the RV door. Going down to the door area I looked out the window and saw a man and asked what he wanted, he informed he was with the Sheriffs department. Looking at the clock it was 3:00 am so I went back and told him it was the Sheriffs department and looking out the window yes it was a sheriffs car. Of course my mind isn’t in gear and is seriously jolted into trying to make sense of what was happening.

As I stepped out of the RV I asked if there was a problem and he asked if I was “Timothy’s” mom and I said yes. He asked if Timothy’s father was here and I said yes and he told me to get him. Oh no, in my head was going off, “What did he get himself into” was the first thought in my head. Every parent worries about the phone call or knock on your door in the middle of the night. Tim was the 3rd and youngest of our children so we had all ready been through it with them.

I went inside and told him that the officer wanted to talk to us about Tim and we were both thinking the same thing, “What did he get into?” but that wasn’t the case. After stepping outside to face the Officer he again asked if we were Timothy’s parents and upon acknowledgment he said words that will never leave our mind: “I regret that I have to inform you but Timothy has passed away”.

WOW, what? He had to say it 2 more times before it sunk in, but surely there had been a mistake, no, his roommate found him and he has been identified. What happened we asked thinking that there had been some sort of accident, “We don’t know, they will do an autopsy” but we suspect drug overdose. Those words killed us inside!!! How could he do that to himself, how could he do that to his family and those who cared about him!!!??? How could this happen??? We were speechless, thoughtless, emotionless all I could do was fall back and I am so glad there were stairs there to catch me.

My mind was going hundreds of miles per hour wondering just what the heck happened. I knew he would do some things like drink, smoke but never “Hard” drugs! He was a corporate trainer for a major company and well loved by everyone, he had no problems, at least what we saw. Perhaps his roommates knew more so I was going to talk to them and see if they saw any thing at all. But worse of all we were mad at Tim for wasting his life and deeply hurt.

So our wonderful life had just got dropped kicked and things weren’t going to be right ever again for us. Tim is my husband’s only child so there is so much hurt there and a huge empty space since they were best friends. Getting through that time would have been impossible if it hadn’t been for hubbies Aunt coming down and helping us do what needed to be done.

The Sunday after the memorial service we put all the flowers out in the mediation garden so I could take pictures of them. When I came out with the camera he had most of them set out there and I just sat down looking still trying to grasp what all had just happened. Then I felt an urge to “take Pictures”. My mind said no wait till they all are here and they get arranged but then the inner voice said “No, Take them Now” so I did. I just sat and snapped pictures while hubby finished bringing them in placing them next to one another.

I didn’t see what was happening as I snapped the pictures, just directed Dan where to set them then arranging to create some order. This whole thing seemed so surreal to us, this wasn’t happening, it wasn’t real, we were going to wake up any moment and things would be back to normal. “Normal”, what an incredible word………

We spent the rest of the day with friends and family here, a bit hard since we were still living in the RV things were crowded, but we were all together as a family supporting each other in this time of horrible grief, disbelief and loss. We decided not to tell anyone those shocking last words the deputy said “We think it was a drug overdose”, we didn’t feel we should share that or darken his memory in any manner so we hid the pain silently as we went through the motion of the whole process of saying good bye to a child. That night I downloaded the pictures but couldn’t bring myself to look at them then, I had cried enough and just needed some sleep so I shut the lap top and forgot.

We were living in a state of shock and grief, reliving over and over in our mind the string of events that happened, what really happened? What could we of done differently? What was the signs we missed that he was doing drugs? What did we do wrong? There were so many questions and we were so full of hurt and anger of a senseless death that destroyed our family.

Right after the first of the year I saw a painting on the web done by a friend and thought it was beautiful and I wanted it for our new house. I made arrangements to purchase it but had to wait till it was finished in an art show so I kind of forgot about it in all of this tragedy. But it is important to note that here in this thought.

I don’t know how many days passed before I remembered to down load the pictures of Tim’s memorial service flowers. That isn’t something you rush in to do or look forward to but I had all ready posted pictures from the Memorial Service on his facebook page. For some odd reason I had created a facebook and myspace page for Tim in memory. He wasn’t a computer person, he was a very easy going Florida cracker boy.

The first couple of pictures were totally normal but the 3rd one I saw something unusual, then the next one was more and the next was more! I couldn’t believe my eyes, I thought there had to be a reason but the lens was clean and the other pictures following these were normal. Of course we were speechless as I showed my husband the “Orb’s” with the flowers. We just sat there and cried because we knew what this was. Also at that moment I thought about the night he died and how the sudden wind blew in from the east shaking the RV and the dogs were howling. OMG, he came by here when he passed to say good bye and left the light on in the shop.

The other revelation we had was that he wasn’t alone, there were 5,6,7 orb’s surrounding the flowers were my father, mother in law and other relatives all taking care of him. We felt a sense of peace of him not being all alone but still were very hurt over the loss and circumstances. Another thing to note here is that every time I touched something metal I would get shocked. It was just like everything was building static electricity in me and this made sense since daddy was an electrician, he was manipulating energy to let me know he is there and it’s all right.

From that point on I have been capturing “Orb’s” with the camera and as time passed I learned how to take the best pictures. I also recently noticed that they have shown up in the strangest places for me including over the internet a thousand miles away to let me know it is ok. My brother was in Sedona Arizona this spring and picked up a “communication crystal” for me and it is awesome! Sedona also has a special place in my heart and meaning for me since it was a Mecca journey there that I had my “Awakening” moment.

Almost 3 weeks after Tim’s sudden death a delivery truck came up the drive way with a package for me. I didn’t remember ordering anything but instantly knew what was there by the return address, my painting. I set the box aside because I wasn’t ready to open it, didn’t want to be alone when I see it and knew my brother in law was coming for dinner that evening.

I worked that day putting together the best of the “Orb’s” photos’ I took and used Tim’s song “Seminole Wind” as the tune. It turned out beautiful and later that night we opened the package and just sat staring at the painting. It was all ok, we had another sign that he was ok, he wasn’t suffering, he went quick and he was now a “Free Bird”.

Nearly 60 days after Tim’s death my husband called the coroner’s office to see if any conclusions had been made regarding the death. Now the last time he called on the day of his death the coroners “Assistant”, some “investigator” had told my husband they suspected drug overdose so that was painful and we had braced ourselves as to having to hear the worse.

This time it was different, they had a cause and it wasn’t drugs at all, it was a heart attack, he had a blockage and he just dropped dead without any warning. We had an answer, we had the reason we had the cause but we didn’t have an apology for the hell we went through thinking our son died of a drug over dose. We lived with that pain for nearly 2 months and in the end it was a really bad assumption made by the police, sheriff and coroner’s office. How could they do this to us, how could they do this to this family, how could they cause us so much grief, pain and not once did anyone say “sorry” we made a mistake except for the Detective at the police department. But in the end, Tim’s good name stayed good and there was such a great relief when I made the phone call to tell his roommates that it wasn’t drugs at all. They were beating themselves up to wondering how they didn’t see it so the relief in their voices was joyous and we all said that this was just one of those really sad happenings in life that no one could of prevented, it happens.

So the moral of this story is to make sure you tell the people you love in your life you love them every chance you get because you never know when that time is going to be the last time. The last words our son heard from me was “I love you” and he knew it, which gave me peace. For now I will continue to take pictures of the “orbs” and other strange phenomena’s as they happen. I also watch the sunset every day never knowing if it is my last one and I watch it with my father, mother, brother and son.

The moral of my story, live each day as if it is your last, all ways tell the ones you love because you never know if it is going to be the last opportunity you have to say it, and say it often because it is important for those you love to know you love them.

Peace and blessings!